


Unwilling Temptations

by orphan_account



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fem!Crowley, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, It starts very sweet, Love Confessions, Past Rape/Non-con, Torture briefly mentioned, and ends on a happier note, fem!aziraphale, gets very sad, no graphic description of rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-22 12:10:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22249282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: If you’re coming into this from reading my other Ineffable Wives fics, be warned that this one is much heavier than anything else i’ve written. Mind the tags and if you think something else should be tagged let me know.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	Unwilling Temptations

**Author's Note:**

> If you’re coming into this from reading my other Ineffable Wives fics, be warned that this one is much heavier than anything else i’ve written. Mind the tags and if you think something else should be tagged let me know. I just kind of had to get this off my chest.

It started right after their celebratory lunch at The Ritz. Aziraphale had laced their fingers together and tugged a stunned Crowley into the bookshop with a playful smile on her face. She led her to the backroom, where she quickly turned to face her and reeled her in by their entwined hands. Crowley’s eyes were wide and awed, certain she must be somehow misinterpreting what was happening, that this must somehow be the result of wishful thinking. 

There was not much room for interpretation, however, in the gentle caress of Aziraphale’s palm against her jaw, guiding her into a soft kiss. It was only a brief brush of their lips, but when Aziraphale pulled back, her face was split into a huge smile that she couldn’t have pushed down even if she wanted to; Crowley’s pupils had blow wider, eyes completely inhuman and vulnerable. Aziraphale just kept smiling, overwhelmed with the giddy swell of joy in her chest, and gently leaned to rest their foreheads together.

“ _Angel.”_ Crowley’s voice was reverent, and awestruck.

“I’m sorry it took me so long, my dear dear girl. I lied. I _do_ like you; I’m rather in love with you in fact.”

“ _Angel._ ” It was all she could say, all she could think. She hesitantly pressed forward, kissing her again. Aziraphale felt how tentative it was, as if Crowley was expecting to be pushed away at any moment, and that simply wouldn’t do. She leaned into it, letting her lips part, and moved a hand to hold her waist, pulling her closer. 

Crowley let out a soft startled noise, but quickly closed the gap between them, relishing the warmth of their bodies pressed against one another. After several drawn out moments, which felt both eternal and infinitesimally short, Aziraphale pulled back a bit with a quiet slick noise of their mouths parting. 

Crowley was about to protest the distance, however small it was, but before she could Aziraphale was pushing her to sit on the couch. Crowley went easily, and Aziraphale knelt on the couch beside her, giving her leverage to lean over her and tilt her head up for another slow, deep kiss. Crowley broke away, quickly overwhelmed.

“Angel, _angel._ I love you, I- _I love you, angel._ ”

Aziraphale beamed at her. “Oh, my darling girl…”

They both took a moment to process everything, giddy happiness and the sudden introduction of long-anticipated touch, content to just breathe each others air. 

“Dearest, have you ever- well- done _this_ before?”

“Done what?” Crowley’s brain was still desperately trying to regain any sort of function, sluggishly processing Aziraphale’s words.

“Been- er- _intimate_ with someone, I suppose.”

Crowley realized her meaning and stiffened, thoughts warring in her head, whether to lie, tell the truth or, most appealingly, bolt out the door. Aziraphale immediately sensed her discomfort and took both her hands in her own.

“You don’t have to tell me, dear. I don’t mind either way, I was only curious.”

“I- I-...I have,” Crowley forced out, her hands beginning to tremble faintly. “But only for work.”

Aziraphale leaned back to get a good look at Crowley’s face. Her eyes were screwed shut and she could see to conflict and pain on her face.

“My dear? What do you mean _‘for work’_?”

“I don’t want to upset you, angel.” Crowley’s voice was the softest she had ever heard it, and suddenly a bit strained. She opened her eyes but was avoiding looking at Aziraphale, looking instead at their clasped hands.

“Crowley. What happened, dearest?” Aziraphale fought hard to keep the fear out of her voice, Crowley’s sudden change in demeanor was starting to frighten her.

“Are you sure you want to know? You- You might not look at me the same.” Another tremor ran through her hands.

“Crowley, whatever it is, please tell me, darling. It won’t change how I feel about you I promise.”

A long pause. Then, a shaky sigh.

“Okay. So, when you work for hell you have, quotas I suppose, a certain number of temptings you have to do for each sin.” Aziraphale squeezed her hands in encouragement, showing she was listening without interrupting. “A certain amount for greed, pride… and- and for lust too.” Her voice wavered on the last one. 

“And- and humans, they get it wrong about sins, it’s only a sin if you let it hurt others. Enjoying food isn’t a sin, but eating in excess while allowing people to starve is. Being proud of yourself isn’t wrong, but when you allow it to cloud your judgement and let it harm people, then it is.” Aziraphale was starting to feel she knew where this might be going and her stomach dropped, but she listened patiently, trying not to think too far ahead and jump to conclusions. 

“Lust and sex aren’t inherently sinful, unlesss-“ she cut herself off, forcing her tongue to act more human before continuing. “Unless, you hurt someone else for your own pleasure without consent.” Crowley was starting to hunch over, making herself small subconsciously. Aziraphale silently pulled her closer, let her rest her head against her shoulder, and rubbed her back in small circles. Crowley slumped into her, her energy seemingly drained. 

“I, um. I didn’t meet my lust quota for the first 500 years. Completely failed it in fact, I- I just couldn’t do it, angel. Everyone had it _so hard_ already, especially back then, and I couldn’t bring myself to ever tempt anyone into rape. And, well, I’ve told you. My lot don’t send rude notes. I was- I was tortured for a year before they let me back up to earth.” At this Aziraphale’s grip instinctively tightened protectively around Crowley’s shoulders. 

“It’s okay, angel.”

“No. It’s not.”

Crowley leaned further into her. “I don’t have to keep going. If you- if you’d rather not hear about it I- I understand.”

“No, Crowley,” she murmured softly, burying her face against the top of Crowley’s head, breathing in her scent and reminding herself that Crowley was here now and needed her. “Keep going.”

“So, I had to find a way to meet the expectations for lust, and even after that year I couldn’t do it the way I was supposed to. So I… So I- I took the part of the victim.”

“ _Oh, dear Lord.”_ Before she could stop herself Aziraphale had uttered it out, in sheer horror, holding to Crowley even tighter. 

“It worked.” Aziraphale could hear her trying to suppress sobs. “They- They took it out on me, instead of other humans, and Hell got their souls. I met my quotas every 500 years from then on. If- If you feel any differently,” she couldn’t push down the sob that came out then, but she pushed in forward. “I understand- if you don’t want this anymore.”

Crowley felt shaking that wasn’t her, and for the first time since she had told her story, she looked up at Aziraphale’s face. Tears were streaming down her face, and her eyes were quite literally glowing with divine, righteous fury that Crowley rarely saw in her. 

“ _Oh,_ Aziraphale, it’s okay. Please don’t cry, angel.” Crowley was wiping away Aziraphale’s tears, filled with guilt for having made her angel so distraught. “I’m sorry, angel.”

“ **_NO._** ”

The glow in Aziraphale’s eyes burned blindingly for a moment, before she closed her eyes and sobbed. When she opened them again they were back to her normal sky-blue irises, no trace of the unnatural light to be found. 

“No. Don’t apologize, Crowley. You don’t have to apologize for being- for being _raped._ _I’m_ sorry, I never knew.”

Crowley shifted a bit uncomfortably, feeling as though she may have tricked the angel into pitying her.

“Does it even count as rape if I tempted them into it?”

“Did you give them your explicit consent? Did you ever even want to?”

“Well, no but-”

“Then yes. It counts. You never force people into doing things with your temptations, just pointing out options, if they were tempted to do such a horrid thing then it’s their fault completely.” 

Aziraphale stroked through Crowley’s hair with shaky fingers, a gesture that set both of them a bit more at ease.

“It- It’s really okay, angel. I’m okay.”

“Did- did you ever have sex willingly? With someone you wanted to?”

“I suppose not. I only really ever wanted to be with you anyways.”

“Well, of course, I’m not going to push. If you never want to have sex that’s perfectly fine. But, if you ever feel like you want to, I want to make it as good an experience as possible. I’ll admit I’ve never partaken, other then- well. With myself. But it’s supposed to be an act of love, and if you ever choose to share it with me I will pour all of my love into it. And if you don’t want to ever, or just not for a while then I will still give you all of my love in every other way I can. I _love_ you, Crowley, and you only deserve the best.”

Crowley flung herself into Aziraphale’s arms, burying her face in her neck and crying. 

“ _Angel, angel, angel_.”

It was all she could say.


End file.
